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[His expression hardens.]

Aye. Especially when those symptoms are quite similar to our own curse and what I was going through. Just without the turning to stone for you, even being bound to a chair is not so different for those who are advanced into it.

[He also knows what she's trying to do, but he'll wait and let it play out.]

I can't remain idle. I have to help myself.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

[He taps the end of his cigar into the ash tray.]

I, too, am looking for a way to at least stop the curse from progressing, if not rid of it completely. But here's my question to you.

[He looks at her straight in the eye.]

Will what you're making be able to do the same?

[ ... ]

It won't. [ She answers, reluctantly, but keeps her gaze level with his. ]

But it has something else I can potentially use. Something that can give me more time.

[A small sigh.]

I understand where you're coming from, but I still can't agree. You don't sacrifice however many souls, potentially thousands judging from what I hear you had to do in your own world, for what is basically a stop gap and even worse, a what if.

What if what you create doesn't work? What if other people learn of what you are doing? Sure, they may sympathize, but sympathy alone won't be enough for them to accept it.

[ She'd remained quiet on the Altocrytsarium for a few reasons. First, that the place was both sacred and a sole privilege of Class Zero's. Second, that it had to do with a duty to harvest phantoma after a battle. Other people learning what she and her class do would not go over well with many, for the reasons he outlines.

It's strange to think that something she's done so frequently could be horrifying to others. Stranger, still, to think that it never occurred to her or any of the Class how the very same act they were committing with souls would be terrible. By the time souls were in their hands, they forget. Logically, she knew it was a soul, knew it was once a person, but there was still that block... or fog... or whatever it had been, over her mind.

(Why did they gather souls, anyway? What did the Archsorcerress need them for, if not to help them grow stronger?)

She doesn't want to be horrifying. Those souls could be any number of good people, people that she probably knew at some point. ]

I don't need to use human souls.

I'm hoping you don't need to use any. Even the animals and creatures here seem to have more intelligence than at least my own world, and I don't mean just the ones who walk around and talk like people.

[He then rubs his brows.]

But I will concede that if it had to be done, that's at least the better alternative.

What else can I do? Wait and wither? [ Frustration tinges her voice, knowing full well that it makes her sound childish. She's allowed to, she thinks, before she gives up.

Waiting is only going to make her weaker. What else is she supposed to do in this world? She'll be as helpless as the day the Empire burned her hometown-- and given the amount of fantastical, unbelievably powerful creatures here, she'll be as helpless as the fist time she came face-to-face with a l'cie. ]

Is that what you did?

[Just a slight shake of his head, ignoring her question about him for now to focus more on her.]

Now I didn't say you had to do nothing.

[Yes, he can very well see her age in this, nor can he blame her.]

First thing I would suggest is see if someone can't figure out what you have, be it an illness or a curse. Not to mention it could be behaving differently in this world, just like how my curse is different here. Even between the rest of the group it's not quite acting the same.

If not someone from this world, perhaps someone from another who has different or stronger abilities to determine what you have. Hell, perhaps even the leviathan if that were possible.

[ Asking for help would mean she’d need to tell others that she’s dying, though, which she is very reluctant to do, and she looks away uncertainly. She doesn’t need to be viewed as either weaker or more mortal than before.

Giant living floating island it is. ]

What would the leviathan be able to do?

[A small shrug.]

Who knows. Could give you answers, could give you nothing. Is it any different than trying to remake a tool that consumes crystals for who knows what purpose?

[ She has her doubts. If the Archsorceress couldn’t find a cure or what was wrong with her, then who else can? Which is a thought borne, of course, from an unquestioning devotion to her, something she has not shaken yet.

But it’s worth a shot, at least. ] I’ll have to try.

[ That doesn’t solve the problem of how weak she is compared to others, and how she can barely keep up in battle. And if she won’t use souls, she can’t summon, she can’t do many other things, and she’ll be even more handicapped. And then… and then— if it doesn’t work anyway—

But maybe it will. Who knows, as he’s said. ]

[He doesn't know all her thoughts, and he can tell she's not convinced. But she is at least listening and willing to try, and that already is a mission in itself. So his expression softens.]

As I said, I am already looking into dealing with our own little curse. Perhaps there will be some intersect or something I come across you can use.

But I am willing to help you, Rem. And I will also keep an eye out for that relic. While I hope there is a better alternative, if the only thing that can save your life is making something similar to that Altocrystarium, so long as you don't have to use the souls of people, then so be it. I just wish it be a last resort—not the only one.

[ She only needs it for a few spells to buy her time and to compensate for the lack of power. One spell to bring back the dead. Another spell to instant kill. Two things that can help preserve her fate, or at least buy her more time, and perhaps that of others who are afflicted by similar curses. Rem is unsure how a leviathan would help with that, but the alternative is that she can... try to learn them on her own?

Everything else-- such as the feeling of being weak, of needing to be stronger-- they're her internal problems. ]

I can express how much I'm grateful to you... And, I'm going to do my best, I am. [ She can be careful. No fighting dangerous bounties, then. ]

So... how long do you have left? You mentioned your curse was acting differently.

[If only he knew about that feeling of being weak... He could help her more than, point her in other directions.]

Good question.

[A shrug.]

Right now it feels as if I had started over from the beginning, like I just awakened. But it could also be right before the symptoms started to progress. I do still feel that familiar fatigue if I use too many powerful spells, especially if I semi-prime, but at least I'm not coughing up blood nor turning into stone—yet.

[He takes a quick draw of his cigar before tapping it over the ash tray again.]

The progression of the curse is dependent on the individual and how much magick used. And as a Dominant, the progression is slower than the average Bearer. I've been a Dominant for twenty-six years, and it wasn't until about ten years ago that I really started feeling it, a few more years for it to actually show on my arm. And then the past year for the blood. At that point the progression accelerated, so I knew I didn't have long left.

[A wave of his hand, smoke trailing in the air.]

Unless being in this world changes things, at least for myself I have time. But I am not going to chance it, especially with everyone else around.

[Especially Dion... And also Joshua's other problem.

He then looks at her.]

How fast did your illness spread and are you feeling any of it now?

Edited 2024-03-18 21:17 (UTC)

[ It sounds as if he's been given time, and she relaxes somewhat. That's... good. Very good for him. More than that, because he's already powerful enough, there's less and less reason in this world for him to exert himself or prime. He hadn't even needed to during the fight with the fire horse. He barely broke a sweat. It's a good thing he's been given another life in this world, because with peril removed, he'll have many years to live if he doesn't use his magic. ]

It's been with me since I was young, but the past year was when it progressed quickly.
It feels as if I've been "reset", too, just not as far back. [ Six months? Seven months? It feels something like that. She can't recall a time she was every healthy, though. ]

It progresses whether or not I use magic, but tends to flare when exhaustion hits. In this world, it's like it's... waiting for a trigger to come back in full force. [ He's not going to like this, but she feels it important to admit, if only to be transparent: ] Last time it flared, it's because the tombstone had drained me. [ One would think this would clue her that this "illness" is on her soul and not an ordinary one, but. She hasn't gotten to think of it that much. She's too focused on doing what she can next to survive. ] I had to siphon the life of the coral around me. [ Using phantoma directly doesn't actually sustain her health, but it does give her energy, something she can use to get herself to safety or to buy time. ] You have to understand, I didn't have much of a choice.

I'll try to be more careful. [ --Bold words for someone who was walking up and down that volcano trying to find a cure to help her friends for the sleeping curse. Yeah, no, it's going to take more than that to have her put her health over others'. ]

[There's worry in his gaze as he listens. So not that far back... He had hoped it would have been more similar to himself, so he just frowns and rubs his chin in thought before he pauses.]

What do you mean the tombstone drained you?

[He vaguely recalls the research on it, but he'd rather hear the specifics.]

I tried to take whatever was in it, since it seemed like a soul was in there. Basically, it backfired.

[ She hasn't quite figured it out, but it happened, and she isn't keen on doing it again. It felt as if she'd been breathing glass for some time after that, but she'd taken the responsibility to rest. ]

It wasn't my best idea, I know, I know. But I thought I could use the tombstone to function as something like the Altocrystarium.

[She tried to—

He looks like he could say a lot of things, but instead he just wipes his face. Though...

As he thinks over her words, he taps his fingers.]

This is the tombstone from that ghost ship, wasn't it? And you're saying because your attempt backfired... Your condition was triggered?

[ She nods. ] I think, maybe, that it's only because it exhausted me, it did. But... as you can see, I've recovered a bit since then.

[ Rem's hand falls her to lap again. ]

When you said your curse differs among those from your world here, what do you mean?

[He's still a little skeptical. Something feels off, but he can't really draw any conclusions yet.]

So far the only real difference is that I'm back to before my symptoms started to show. If I had to guess, at most from ten years ago, if not all the way from the beginning. Others are either as they were or also similar to where the curse no longer affects them, but we don't know by how much.

Is that what you're asking?

That is. [ She nods, pausing to think. Who among them has the least amount of time, she wonders. And will they find a way to accept it, if there is no way of saving them? ]

Looks like we've both been given a second chance. I hope to make it count.

Aye, it's the best you can do. However...

[He looks at her for a moment.]

While you are searching for their cure, don't forget that this is also a chance to live a life you couldn't before. No wars, no need to gather souls, no taking orders from someone else.

Remember what I said before—it's not a matter of "if" but "when." Everyone dies one way or another. You could even be taken by the rifts tomorrow. And as someone once reminded me, choosing how to die is all well and good, but you also need to choose how you want to live. That way when that time does come, you won't have as many regrets and can at least say you lived.

How I want to live... [ She repeats this quietly to herself, looking down.

In a world away from her own, the Archsorceress, and other duties, choosing to live on her terms is a tall task. She can try, though, even though she's uncertain as to what living might entail with the time she has left.

Then again, it hasn't been as if she's only been doing her duties. She's been reading more books lately.... and trying more sweets, going to cafes, and even working on magitech. These are all things she'd never be able to pursue because of the war in her homeworld. Here, she has the opportunity until she does die. And if she'll be forgotten-- ]

However I live, I want to show that I was here.

[There's a small smile at that. It is a tall order, he knows. One that he's seen countless have to go through when they realize they are free from the shackles that once confined them. Her situation is a bit different, but it's all the same in the end.

A change to be something new, or at the very least improve from what was once before.]

At least on that you've already made quite the impression. But I am sure you'll be able to do so with whatever you do.

Edited 2024-03-25 03:12 (UTC)

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*souls, not crystals wow

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